Hey guys!
I am trying to gauge your reaction to me introducing a new topic on my blog instead of creating a whole separate blog for it. My son Dean was just diagnosed with disabling autism. Yes, my son isn’t even 2 and is mentally disabled. It’s tough and emotional and I want to take you guys on this journey with me. I just want to make sure that this is okay to mix in with my beauty stuff. I know that this is my blog and all, but I don’t want to turn my followers away. Don’t worry! There will still be PLENTY of beauty posts to keep you going through the week, but I thought once or twice a week, I can write about my journey dealing with my son’s autism. The first post I have planned will be about the day that I found out, which was this past Monday. Depending on your response, I could do posts on any topic of autism you guys want. Feel free to give me ideas about what topics to post about like when I first thought he had it and dealing with tantrums. Whatever you guys want. Let me know that you would be fine with this new content change. Like this post and/or post a comment to show your support. My man bean man Dean thanks you. 🙂
Thank you for reading as always.
With Love,
Home Sweet Phoenix Cove 
I think that you should blog about whatever you’d like, I personally enjoy reading a variety of topics posted on the same blog. It’s a tough diagnosis, the BF has one daughter who is autistic and a lot of my volunteer time is spent with kids who are autistic, they are some the best kids that I know! It’s amazing to work with them, best of luck to you on this new journey ❤
Thank you! I need to hear inspirational autism stories right now. I have a to do list a mile long. My son is a big part of my life so I’m glad that everyone is so supportive. I might do a weekly recap of his progress with all of his therapies. I get report cards for every session because I have to work. I’m so lucky that my dad watches him and oversees his therapy in person.
That is lucky, hope it goes well!
I would love to read about this. I’m not into beauty products much anyway and enjoy reading a variety of topics. I have a son who is almost three. He is involved in Early Intervention due to a speech delay, so I understand some of the struggles.
Someone I can relate too and connect with! My little bean will be two and he sees a Speech therapist as well for his communication difficulties. How is your guy doing with it?
Yes! I’d love to chat with you more about it! He’s starting to do well with it now! What’s your email address?
beautyandthebookcase@gmail.com
P.S. Your little guy is a TOTAL cutie!!!
Lol. Thank you. I tried to find his crowning moment.
I think as long as you feel comfortable writing about it on this blog then do it! If anyone has a problem with it (which they shouldn’t) they need to reevaluate themselves! You don’t write solely beauty posts anyway, there are a lot of other reviews up. You know I’ll read either way!
Awe! Thank you! I feel like if I don’t write on this blog, I’m letting her win. Who knows?! Maybe she’s forgotten all about it and doesn’t read it anymore? I’m not letting her control my life anymore. I’m feeling that the worse is over with all of that drama carp.
I hope so for your sake! You definitely shouldn’t have to avoid writing about things because you’re worried about who might read it. 🙂
I stopped reading at “disabling autism” and “mentally disabled.” You may blog about whatever topic you want, but I suggest researching autism more before you spout more ignorance. This disgusts me and I feel sorry for your child. It is because of attitudes like this that people on the autism spectrum are left behind and have no hope.
Thank you for giving me this ignorant comment. I’m going to be featuring this comment on my blog. Thank you for the material. Instead of bringing people down, you should try supporting other people in need. Autism is disabling to an individual. He does speak, so therefore is “mentally disabled”. I’m not calling my son retarded at all. He is a smart boy. According to the state of MA, autism is a mental defect since autism is connected to the neurons in the brain not interacting correctly with each other. There is a range of autism. My cousin has autism and wears diapers, doesn’t talk, and can’t communicate at all. He’s a year younger than me. So, having severe autism can be very similar to being mentally disabled. So, maybe do your research before you spout your ignorance. Feel sorry for my child that he gets all the love in the world. Yes, people get left behind and have no hope because I am using my blog to talk about my personal opinion and my son’s journey of autism services trying to get him to communicate and one day speak. So, don’t “feel sorry” for him and your comment “disgusts me” that some on with a form of autism would be so rude and spiteful. I have had a few comments from others living with autism that have been nothing but supportful. I could make a rude comment about how people who make comments of yours shouldn’t have children, but after fighting for a year to have a child, I am grateful to have my special boy. And if you think a parent that fought the pediatrician and strongly advocates for their child and is a survivor of emotional and physical abuse, wouldn’t do everything for their child, then I don’t know what to say. And if you think I’m “ignorant” than start educating me instead of tearing me down. Be a pillar of resource instead of a fire of hate.
Do my research? I have autism, so I am pretty sure I have a good idea more than any expert or parent of an autistic child of how it can be like and how bad it can be. I feel for the parents who have children on the low end of the spectrum, very severe cases I do and I do sympathize that it can be very frustrating and hard to cope with at times. Read my blog and you will see many posts relating to as such and autism.
As it caused me to struggle more so than other people at times? Yes it most definitely has, but I wouldn’t refer to my autism as mentally disabling. Maybe because it hurts my feelings, my autism is a big part of me and I accept it for it’s quirks, gifts and even yes struggles. I wouldn’t be who I am without my autism. You said your child is very talented, and lovable and I am sure he is. Autism is not always mentally disabling, yes we learn in different ways and our minds are wired differently. That doesn’t equal mentally disabling though, in fact it only does to the eyes of society. Society refuses to let me learn the way I want or be who I want. When I am who I want to be without fear or judegment and learn in my own unique way I am a force to be reckoned with. I am gifted in many ways that other people are not and I fear I wouldn;t be if it wasn’t for my autism. Autism can be struggling at times I never would say it isn’t. But actually professionsals are coming out saying it is not a disabilityor even a disorder for everyone on the spectrum, it is a neuro-neurological diverse, and we can now join the diversity of human kind. Welcome to 2018.
I am sorry if my comment came off as rude, but I think autistic people are upset and offendd by the words our parents, professionals and society use to label us. It feels often us with autism have no voice. I have been met with so much ignorance by people off the spectrum in cases like this. So I do apologize for my comment.
I get what you are saying I do! But there has been no coalition to intellectual disability directly relating to autism (maybe in severe cases yes, but not all) in fact men like Albert Einstein when studied in history were said to likely be autistic if the diagnoses existed more back in those times. Same with Da Vinci. I am not saying every autistic child is the next Einstein, but I am saying a lot of us do have special gifts and talent to offer the world. If society would concentrate on our strengths and stop tearing down our weaknesses, society and the autistic child or person could both benefit. I am not saying ignore our weaknesses or challenges, we do have to manage them, but most comments like ‘mentally disabling’ simply exist because we cannot operate in a very close minded and boxed society. I think as long as the autistic person is happy and feels successful according to their own standards, that’s success. Society says if you don’t live up to our standards than you are disabled. There are different levels of success, talent and so on. There is also no coalition between quality of life, happiness and autism. That is why I don’t like comments such as mentally disabling, and because your son got a diagnoses you painted it as disabling with what feels like you didn’t do much research. With the right support from professionals, families and love autism doesn’t always have to disabling. Autism has many positives to it and some of them probably include things that would surprise you and are in fact at the opposite end of disabling.
But Einstein, Da Vinci were mentally disabling right?
I would have appreciated this comment better right from the beginning. Your comment was very hurtful and rude. I am definitely putting this on another blog post, because unlike the hateful people who have posted replies, you actually didn’t reply with hate again. You went into so much depth and that’s so inspiring. You know, I’m a first time mom. I’m human. I make mistakes. Could I have written that better? Yes, but I was emotional when I wrote it. I just found out that my only son has autism. I can talk to you, but I can’t communicate with my own son. It’s frustrating and you insinuated that I don’t care for my son. I took offense and overacted, but usually people leave me pretty nasty comments and don’t turn out to be like you and send me something nicer back. So, I do apologize and will make another post, so you don’t look like a crazy hater person. I agree with many points of yours and it was never my intention to make anyone feel that way.
We all make mistakes, and I am glad I inspired you in some way. Like that even my parents made some mistakes, I make mistakes, I did with my first comment. You didn’t over react, I said some hurtful thing in relation to your son. I can understand that your children are a very sensitive topic, maybe like my autism is for me. But thank you for your understanding and forgiveness.
I am sorry that is frustrating sometimes that your son can’t communicate yet, but give him time and patience. Even if your son remains non verbal it doesn’t mean he won’t ever be able to communicate automatically, he may need other apps and means of communication, but with time I hope he does learn how to communicate even if it is in his own unique way. With tools, technology and support for autism all evolving who knows what the future may bring. I hope it brings good things for you and your son. As for you can communicate with me but not your own son, how old is he out of curiosity? I was delayed in walking I walked a year later than my brother or something close and my brother is a year younger than I. I didn’t talk for a very long time, I had certain sign language signals to communicate with my family, but this caused many struggles once I started school. I took speech therapy until I was in grade 7, I was meant to remain in speech therapy but opted out for many reasons and now kind of regret it. I can verbalize now fine and I do talk, but I have many quirks with my speech if you listen close enough. I still struggle with some sounds etc. So just because I have reached certain milestones and your son hasn’t yet, remember I am 30, I lived my whole life with autism (I didn’t know I had autism and it would have probably helped me greatly if I did know I was at a young age and my parents) but I knew I was always different and I had to do things my own pace, way and differently. I don’t know if I needed a diagnoses to know I was different than other children my own age, but it would have helped so maybe I did need it at the time. Your son is still young by the sounds of it, he has years to complete milestones. Just it may be a bit more delayed than you hope for. Give him time, it took me years to talk and I did just fine eventually. 🙂 Also it is harder to communicate with people in person still because of my social anxiety etc, than it is to converse on the internet. I would rarely say this much to a person face to face. Lol I am a social wreck sometimes in real life, but I am okay with it. I like being a social odd ball. 😛
Thank you, but unless you really want to do it don’t feel like you have to make a post in your blog about me or my comments. I will be flattered if you do, but do it cause you want to and if it helps your journey.
I will take more time to read your posts and maybe comment or leave some likes and I will follow you back. Right now there seems to be an error where it won;t let me load your blog
I really hope it is an issue with wordpress and that you didn’t delete your blog, as you are a beautiful person and a good mother. And our world needs more parents like you who is willing to listen to all sides and not just one or is quick to stick their child into the neurotypical world no matter the cost. Those are the parents I seem to have a problem with. Not ones like you who just wants the best for their son. I hope you and your son over come the difficulties, and learn from one another. Your son is just different, not disabled. Autism does not have to define him.
Thank you for your kind words. 😘 My son just turned 2 the day after Christmas. He reached milestones early for the first 6 months and then lost weight and stopped growing as fast as others. He’s in the 12th percentile for weight so 88% of children weigh more than him…well boys his age specifically. I didn’t delete my blog, but I noticed that wordpress is not loading other blogs on my work computer unless I use a direct link like the ones you provided. I really wanted to do an update and have. Everyone makes mistakes and I would hate people coming over to your blog and leaving hurtful comments. You don’t need nor deserve that. I can see that you are a good person. This conversation has weighed heavily on my mind today and I was talking with someone who said outbursts are common with people with Autism. I didn’t know that he worked with autistic youth and he walked me through how my wording could be perceived. I learned more from my encounter with you and I welcome all the info I can get. I will never know what it’s like to be autistic but I do want to learn and be a better advocate. I joined Autism Speaks just recently and I’m waiting for the welcome package. I enjoy hearing from others with Autism, because it gives me insight. I love your long posts, so no worries. I do have a question though. What do you think of the show The Good Doctor? I’m assuming your American by the way. Or autistic shows and movies in general? Good, bad, or you don’t watch them?
Aw, two the busy toddler years, but a great age. Did anything else change besides his weight? I hear sometimes with autistic children they will reach milestones very young and then all of a sudden later they can’t speak, motor skills become delayed again and so on. The spectrum is so broad and complexed. It wasn’t like that for me, I was just delayed in both motor skills and speech, so I attended therapy to help me in both. It also helped having a brother I think to inspire me to want to learn how to do things. For the longest time I could crawl faster than he could walk my parents said maybe it was not that I didn’t know how to walk, that I didn’t bother cause I got around the house faster than he could. Jokingly of course,
I was delayed a bit motor skills and my balance is still terrible to this day as is my coordination. But it’s okay, I manage. Good thing I didn’t or have aspiring dreams to be a professional athlete. Haha I got along okay in gym class in school, enough to pass, and I play sports still for fun, but that’s about it. I did struggle because of my lack of coordination so at times I hated gym class. Haha. It never stopped me though from joining school teams or community teams. I played soccer all the way into high school, and sure I wasn’t the best player but I had a lot of fun and that was all that mattered. 🙂 My speech like mentioned was very delayed and probably very frustrating for my parents.
Your son is 2 and that is still quite young to be able tell what milestones he will be able to over come. And they have so many tools now for autistic children and therapy that it can help. I have communicated just fine with non verbal autistic for example they just used their computer or ipad etc to communicate their words. All non verbal means sometimes is they have a different way to communicate. And I have had lovely conversations with these people, so inspiring. Something that didn’t really exist back in the day either. I hope your son learns to over come his challenges and progresses. My doctor told my parents to just be patient, that I will do things in my own time. And sure enough with a little guidance and help I did. But I will say not being able to use my words when I was that young was very frustrating. It led to many child meltdowns because I couldn’t tell people what I wanted or how I felt. It is frustrating for you as a parent, but also keep in mind it will be hard on your child too. That is when he will need your unconditional love and support and you seem like a great mother. So for both of you I do hope he can over come the hurdles in his way.
Yes wordpress has been acting very weird lately and some of it’s features don’t seem to be working well. I found a way to get to your blog, but have found other blogs hard to load or won’t load at all either. Hopefully wordpress can fix it soon, but in my experience here with the wordpress help etc I am not holding my breath. Haha.
Thank you for your kind words, and you are also a good person. I am glad we are both moving forward and no more bad comments or hate will come either way for us. 🙂
Outbursts are common with people with autism yes. But normally when we are frustrated and cannot express ourselves in the way we would like too. I also have a father who is quick to anger not physically, but like he can fly off the handle sometimes and I think some of my quirks come from him. He is also very outspoken, as am I. I need to learn more to be yes outspoken, but in a kind way. I work on it constantly and sometimes may also be because of my autism so my thoughts don’t translate to my mouth or say writing on the computer in a way I would like them too always. The communication break down literally happens from my brain to my mouth. Lol. I am glad you talked to someone about this and he could give you some other insights. Just always keep in mind no autistic person is the same. Some autistic people for example didn’t find your words offensive like you said and supported you. It just depends on the person I think. Everyone is different. Some of us are more easily offended by others. For me it is not so much I am easily offended, I have dealt with a lot of ignorance both in my life and online especially towards the autistic community. Your words are very minimal to things I have heard or read before, but sometimes my patience because of the past is less than it should be. But is not an excuse and I feel good that we made up and neither of us got too hung up on it.
If you ever need help or information that you don’t see on my blog don’t hesitate to ask for my opinion or maybe I can share some resources and if I can’t help you I will let you know, but don’t ever hesitate to ask. I myself am still on this jjourney myself and constantly learning more about autism.
I am not an advocate for Autism Speaks and I don’t support them. My reasons are though they do have some great resources and help for people on the spectrum or parents of autistic children, they have a lot wrong with them too. They have came out and said things like we need to find a cure for autism, it is a disabling disease and other things that I strongly disagree with and find hurtful. Like that I understand times autism can be disabling I do understand that, and I want more help and support for parents with very severe autistic children. But finding a cure for the way our brains are wired is like removing my brain from my body. It is like telling a neurotypical person their brain’s make up is damaged because it doesn;t agree with society and it must be cured. I am not saying don’t unjoin autism speaks, or you made a mistake I am not here to hate on people who do support autism speaks, but I think like anything just be careful with what information they give you and don’t swallow everything at face value. Like that I think some of their resources are great for those of us on the spectrum. But warning a lot of the autistic community you will come to find do not support Autism Speaks. A lot of parents with autistic children support it and some autistics do, but a lot of our community doesn’t and we have our reasons. We feel they do more damage than good sometimes, but not all the time. There is some good about them and if you take just that from it, than you will gain knowledge and hopefully find the support your son needs. Just be careful with it is all I am saying.
I have never seen The Good Doctor actually, but I have heard good reviews about it even from people on the spectrum themselves. I keep meaning to check it out, but I am not sure if we have it here on netflix. I have to look. lol I am Canadian actually (mind you same difference lol) but recently moved to the USA with my husband as his family is here etc. I haven’t seen many autistic shows or movies actually (some documentaries ye) but little movies and shows. I didn’t like A-typical for my own personal reasons. I don’t think it is a bad show, I think it serves it;s purpose which is show neurotypicals what autism is like from a neurotypical point of view or whatever. I am not against the show, I don’t think it did much harm just wasn’t for me. Parenthood is a show I have recently got into I am on the second season on netflix (it has like six seasons I think) and one of the son’s in the show is autistic. It is not all about his autism or focused, it is mainly focused around a family and has a bunch of stuff going on. Maybe that is why I like it, and I like the boy who plays the son with autism. I thought he did a pretty good job for his age. I also found out the boy did take time to study the character he was portraying, he did an interview in how he plays his part and I was inspired. The autism in the show I think comes from either the director or producer (I forget which one) has a son with autism. That is the character the boy plays or is the idea. But that show is filled with a lot of characters and it has a bit for everyone if you are into family dramas. I like that it not only focuses on one character or just the autism. It advocates it in a nice way too I think. You get to follow the family from when they first get the diagnoses, you feel their frustrations and the child’s as well. It shows they want to help their son be the best he can be, but also get him support to help him progress. Etc. It is the first show I have liked so far that does relate to autism. Yet it is more than that. There is like an entire family of characters to keep up on and follow. There are times the parents say things that kinda hurt but in the same breath I know they get frustrated as parents like we do being autistic, and I can’t blame them I guess. They portray worrisome parents well and I bought into their roles. Although some autistic people would probably watch the show and say the way they act sometimes is offensive. Autistic community even myself included are quick to judge and I think we forget sometimes our actions can be frustrating and do hurt others, even if we don’t mean it. So I haven’t watched enough in the autistic category I think to judge. To say rather they are good or bad etc. I guess it depends like any genre of show or movie, depends on the script, how they portray things and the characters. Good characters to me is always so important to make it a good movie or show for me. If I can’t believe or care about the characters than I am not going to care about what happens to them, if I don’t care what happens then I don’t care about the show or movie. But characters have got me to like shows and movies before that are not in my general interest and that is why I believe it is so important to cast your roles correctly and good when making a show or movie. Same with books.
That was what happened with Dean. He excelled so fast and was babbling. He reached everything quick until 1 years old and then regressed in every area but physical gross skills. I think he found the finer things hard to do and just stopped trying to do them out of frustration.
He has been having meltdown today and I cried with him. Sometimes, I can’t take it and I breakdown. The funny thing is, he stops crying and hugs me. He just hold me and stares into my eyes. He knows what I need when I’m like that. I just wish when he makes noises that I ALWAYS know what they mean. He doesn’t really point, so I’ve been working on that skill next. I’m making him point to everything by manipulating his hand to point.
I didn’t know that about them! I do not support we need a cure mindset. It is not a disease or cancer and that makes me sick. I will be still read the kit they sent me, but I will not support their cause. I will donate the little that I can back into my local EI. AS is not getting my money. That’s the one thing that sets me off. The we need a cure thing. You know what the cure is? No brain and that’s also the cure for ignorance as well. 🙂
Okay, that is good to know. Is A-Typical the new show on Netflix with the autistic son going to high school? I need to watch Parenthood. I have that on my list. The Good Doctor is still on its first season, so it won’t be on Netflix until this summer. I am enjoying it. He doesn’t have big outbursts and I think is more typical. A lot of shows show kicking and screaming and freaking out autism and from what I’ve experienced with my son, that’s not the norm. Even with my cousin who can’t take care of himself. He rarely has huge blow ups.
What kinds of books to you read? I’m wondering if you’ve read Harry Potter. If you haven’t, you seriously need to! It is life! lol Dean loves books. Physical books. He sits and lets me read to him all the time as long as he can flip the pages.
Yes, sometimes it is like that where children excel at a young age, and then all of a sudden it is haulted. It is something I need to look more into. I actually don’t know why that happens. If that has something to do with the brain, or like you said stop doing things out of frustration etc. The same way sometimes people do things all of a sudden in response to a traumatic event, like self protection etc. Like maybe it could be a mental thing as well.
Sorry to hear about his meltdown. That is really adorable and great that he stopped crying and hugged you when he realized you were breaking down as well. It is frustrating that he can’t always communicate. I was the same, but the thing is we still have feelings, and we just have our own ways of communicating I guess. I could still show affection, I felt bad if my actions hurt someone else etc. I still do, I just always can’t talk about it in a way I wish I could. But it’s important your son is aware of things around him. I came along way, but I still communicate in my own ways, and when I struggle at that I now know how to manage that, and I try to make up for it in other ways. If your son does learn how to say read signs, write, read etc. That can also be great. I write letters to my husband all the time cause even though I can speak, I write more and can explain a lot more writing than I can talking. Probably one of the reasons why I love writing. So yeah I often write my husband letters here and there that he can read after he gets home from work etc. I can just tell from his emotions that sometimes my writing gets stuff through more than me talking. I think it has to do with because I have a hard time processing thoughts into words. When I talk it’s instant. So sometimes I don’t say enough, what I mean or it comes out entirely wrong. When I write I do have time to think before I write so that I have that time to translate my thoughts into words.
Well I am glad I could help inform you about Autism speaks. Yes the cure mentality is very ignorant. Like I understand that it can be frustrating for parents who have severely autistic children. I do understand that and it is awful at times. I get it. I just don’t think the cure thing is the solution. I think as things advance and we as humans slowly get smarter (I say slowly cause well lol) we will find more and more ways to help children and adults on the spectrum. More ways to support them and same goes for other diagnoses. We are getting a lot better. There is more help now for autism, people dealing with depression, bipolar and so on. It is only going to get better, at least I think it is. But a big thing again is we need to understand we are a very diverse species. All different walks of life and we need to accept people for who they are. My feelings get hurt too and humans frustrate me all the time, I don’t let it ruin my life and say oh you need to be cured. Because I don’t think they are meaning to harm me always, and what have you. Everyone wants to be accepted. I have a hard time living in society, it frustrates me on a regular basis. So then should society be cured to just suit my specific needs? No. I need to try to get along with it the best I can. Well I think in general it could be fixed, but I don’t go around expecting every single person to serve my needs. Because that’s impossible and people can’t help being themselves. The cure thing is just a bit extreme. Like you said we can’t change our brains make up or have it removed and if we did then it is also the cure for ignorance as well. The best cure for anything I think is education, acceptance and things like that. There are positive approaches to helping people.
Yes it is the show on netflix about the autistic boy who goes through high school. Like that the show didn’t offend me, it just wasn’t for my liking. Parenthood is a great show if you are into family dramas, and I think because of the autistic boy, it caught my interest. Once The Good Doctor comes to netflix I wil definitely check it out. Thanks for the recommendation, I am always looking for new shows, movies etc. Especially because the hubby and I don’t pay for cable, satelite etc. We only pay the small fee for netflix. We are behind the ball, but it works. I also like netflix because I can watch things on my own time and terms. I love binge watching my favorite shows. Before netflix and programs netflix I remember I use to hate having to wait a whole week for the next episode of a show you were really into.
My view on the media and autism in general is this. It is not that kids on the spectrum can’t have break downs and tantrums. I did as a kid, had nothing to do with not getting what I want though. It would happen more often if my routine was off, I was anxious etc. Things I couldn’t control. I have seen autistic people and children have freak outs. It can happen, it may not be the norm I am not sure. But it doesn;t so much offend me the stereotype of those on the spectrum have meltdowns and breakdowns. I have dealt with meltdowns/breakdowns and even shut downs. And I am sure it is common on the spectrum. We can’t help it. That is not my issue with the media. My biggest issue with the media is they only show the bad sign of autism. Like in documentaries an autistic child could be having a great day, they don’t film that. They just fill them on their bad days. The way they get like the worse parents of autistic children to speak about autism in the media. I once saw part of a documentary (it was too ignorant I could not watch the whole thing) on BBC (which was odd cause normally BBC has good ratings and do normally have good content) where a woman of an autistic child said she wishes she could kill her child. Or something along the lines of that. I forget her exact words, I just remember being so ticked off that I flicked off the documentary. I am like not only should she not be talking about her child in that way autism or not, but clearly she is a psychopath of some kind and wh the heck did you choose her for your documentary? That is a bad reputation to not just people on the spectrum, but say parents who have autistic children. I have more examples but my point is the media tends to concentrate way too much on the negative and paints autism as like the most horrid thing, and not enough on the positive. I tend to steer away now from a lot of media things relating to autism for my own health. lol.
I read books like uhh…I am not the hugest book nerd I’ll admit and I wish I read more in my past and still did etc. Lol.
I love a lot of the older novels like The Outsiders, The Giver, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Catcher In The Rye etc. I don’t read enough non-fiction, but would never pass up an opportunity to read non fiction as I love learning and knowledge intrigues me. I like autobiographies if it is by someone who inspires me or I find interesting etc, I read the hobbit and the lord of the rings series when I was younger. My mom read my brother and I the first couple harry potter books on a long road trip once I remember. I read the first three I think, and then I stopped reading them. Not because I lost interest, but because I don’t read as much as I should. Lol. I saw a couple of the movies too. I may get back itno them, who knows. I know they are great books. Other books I like are like teenage fiction (like Nick And Nora’s infinite playlist, 13 Reasons why, The Hunger Games series etc) Although 13 reasons why is also a great show, just the book and show is a bit to heavy for some etc (on netflix) and The Hunger Games became movies. I read the books after watching the movies actually. The Hunger Games books the storyline is only a bit deeper, but it is a lot more gorier I found than the movies. They tried to make the movies more family like. Not for children per say, but like so young teens can watch it etc. I read a variety of books when I can, as long as it catches my interest. 🙂 That’s great that Dean loves books.
LOL. I love Teen fiction as well. I try to read 2 books a month.
How horrible! People like that shouldn’t have kids. My mother used to tell me all of the time that she wished she went through with the abortion. That kid will see that documentary one day. I cannot stand for child abuse, mostly because I experienced it. That and domestic abuse. My ex used to push me around and I let him, because I was so affected by my mother that I just wanted to be loved.
Now, Dean is my source of love and I can never again fall victim to an abusive relationship. Been thinking about writing more about my experience, but it’s still too fresh for me to blog about it in a post.
I haven’t read a book in quite sometime. 😦 I need to get back to reading. lol I want to get a library membership hopefully soon.
Yes, some people should not have kids. It is horrible. Sorry to hear about you had to endure child abuse and being pushed around by your ex. I can’t imagine how horrible that is and I am glad you survived such horrors. I guess what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. One of my favorite quotes about people and children is “You need a license to own a dog, but anyone can have a child” It’s kinda sad. People should have to go through an evaluation or some guideline before having kids. Would fix so many problems and save many children from nightmarish childhoods.
I am glad Dean can be your source of love and through that maybe giving him a better life can help you move forward. Kinda like a redemption thing. My parents weren’t perfect, but I think my childhood could have been a lot worse. However I plan to be a better parent than my parents, and that is all we can hope for. Well when you are ready to write about your experiences I think you should as writing and reaching out to others or have people relate to your experiences can be therapeutic.
A library card is a good thing. I want to go to the library, but I never have any time. If I work from home, I will have no excuse!
Thank you. I like to think that my experiences made me into who I am today and compared to others, I have had it easier. I couldn’t imagine going through rape or worse. Not saying that being abused wasn’t hard for me, but it could have been worse and I’m grateful that it wasn’t.
Yes, I swear to be better than my mother and I am doing just that. It’s easier to be better when she was so bad. I hope he’ll look back one day and see that I loved him so much that I protected him from people who would hurt them the way they did to me.
Maybe one day…when I am brave enough to face what I went through. I have a few journal entries that are so depressing, it’s embarrassing. I just can’t face it. What I let others do to me emotionally and physically….it’s embarrassing and I’m angry. I’m so angry still.
Since you want to make a bigger deal out of this and post a blog about my comment, I will post a blog about your ignorant comments. I wanted to originally but decided to just comment instead and I actually figured my comment would have been ignored. I have a lot more to say about this and nothing boils my blood more than parents of autistic children who think they know more about their children living with the condition and me who also lives with the condition and worse like to paint it in some end of the world scenario or in a negative light. I have experiences too with severe autistic children, some who share it would be nice to talk, but they would still like to be autistic and other stories. I have also met some both severe and not as severe who say they hate their autism, and would want to find a cure. It hurts my feelings, but a person who has autism I guess has that right to feel that way. A professional or parent again I think have to be careful when talking about a diagnoses that they do not have. I wonder though if they would feel that way still if society truly accepted them more than it does right now. Autistic people want no different than everyone else, and that is to just be happy. At the end of the day that is all that should matter is everything aside is this person happy.
If you care to read, though it doesn’t refer to all but some positive qualities that some autistic people or a lot do possess, especially with the right help and support.
https://aspierudegirl.wordpress.com/2017/12/19/positive-things-about-being-an-aspie-or-having-high-functioning-autism/
I don’t run your blog, I only run mine but by all means do what you will. Why would I ignore your comment? You don’t see how it was offensive? What Dean goes through, we all go through as a family. I share in his struggles and triumphs. I’m the one crying because I haven’t heard my baby say that he loves to me, when he’s hungry, or tired, or scared. I can’t help him and it is the most upsetting thing for a parent. I do offer him support. He has a Speech therapist, Occupational Therapist, and three ABA specialists coming in and helping him in my home. His diagnosis is very touchy for me when faced with hate. I understand how you feel now, but can you sympathize with me? As you watching what I say, it is my blog and those were my feelings at the time. My blog should be the one place were I am free to express myself and not have to watch what I say. I was devastated at the time and to hear other kids doing so well and yours is lagging behind everyone hurts. No, I don’t have autism, but one of my older brothers had mild autism. It caused him to stutter a lot and he can’t learn and retain information to get a decent job. He works at Home Depot and is a manager there. I know autism doesn’t hold people back and I know there is a stigma about autistic people. You judged me by reading one post. You didn’t look at me as a complete person. Society looks at autistic people as autistic. They judge by a diagnosis. I think you’d really like Dean’s updates and you are gonna miss out on seeing him develop and grow up because of a few words I said. I subscribed to your blog. I enjoyed your post.
Another read that might catch your interest. Then I am done spamming and I am going to be a bigger person I won’t write a blog in response to your comments, 1 because you recently found out about a diagnoses and as you continue the journey I hope you will learn more. 2. It’s too frustrating, is negative to my emotions and I end up repeating the same points.
https://aspierudegirl.wordpress.com/2017/11/02/my-child-suffers-from-autism-what-is-suffering-why-is-yours-more-important-tbh/
I am learning. I am constantly learning. I did find your post interesting and I followed and liked. I just wish you would have come out and just said all of this instead of what you initially said.
I sincerly apologize again, I jumped the gun or assumption too quickly. Like that you are a parent who just found out your child got a diagnoses, and at first I am sure that journey is very scary. But now you have the main tool which is the diagnoses that can open up many doors and options to raise your child and give your child the best opportunity at a successful and happy life. I blame society more than anything for such a negative light we have attached to autism. Sometimes autism can be very severe and like you said in some ways ‘disabling.’ It can be at times, but if we make the right environment for any kid on the spectrum, severe or not so severe, they will flourish in their own unique ways and have the best chance at a decent life. It is not just with autism, society seems to be very narrow minded when it comes to what it wants people to be. Like if we don’t get a family, a successful career and make all the money or buy the next biggest thing or own some fancy house than in some way we are failing and must not be happy. If that makes sense, it even is referenced to everyday people. Happy and success cna be measured in so many different ways. I hope the best for you, your journey and your child. You are a lot luckier than some to find out a diagnoses so soon. Even in my time growing up, my diagnoses didn’t happen until in my twenties. I grew up undiagnosed and it did cause a significant amount of problems, and although my parents seem to know I was unique, they did certain things that would keep me relatively happy, they didn’t have enough tools at hand to offer me the support I really needed and they often why I failed time and time again, and why my brother was the more easier child with a lot of things and he went onto excel with little help. The diagnoses criteria is getting a lot better though and that is the first step to help these children. Next is acceptance. Yes we do have to function in society to a certain extent, everybody does even when we don’t want to lol but….there are times we should be accepted for who we are, allowed time to do things our own way and when we fail, it is maybe not a failure, maybe don’t force things on people they don’t want to do or find their way of doing it that they can succeed at. You are on the right path, and I am sure you have an awesome, lovely and talented son. He is lucky to have a mom who isn’t going to give up, parents can sometimes and the diagnoses can make some parents go off the deep end. I have seen far worse situations and comments about autism than ‘mentally disabling’ and ‘disabling autism.’ I have a lot I could say and this is kinda scrambled, sorry. Long story short I think all I mean is just because your son got a diagnoses of autism, doesn’t always automatically make it ‘disabling.’ It may seem like it can be at times, and maybe it is even at times, but it depends on your view. Not everyone can do everything the same, even neurotypical people make mistakes and sometimes we fail at our jobs etc. Yet it doesn;t get a negative stigma as they are mentally disabled. Just different things work for different people, we all have our own unique ways and talents to offer the world, most of us just try to stick with what we know and lve to lead a happy and successful life. Autism people can do the same. It is hard to live in a society though that doesn’t seem to see it that way. There are parents who will have to always care for their severe autistic child, and in society a child who lives at home or needs extra care their entire life is not seen as successful. But what if that child succeeds at little things everyday? What if they are happy regardless they didn’t start a family, find that successful career etc like society attaches to success. Celebrate every success your son does on his way of growing up, handle the bad days to the best of your ability, support him, when he expresses himself in his own way (even if it is not always talking) listen and support, and most of all love him unconditionally and he will be okay. It’s great now too there is a lot more support than there use to be for children on the spectrum, how to find the right support can be challenging at times, I have recieved the wrong help sometimes, but I am sure your child will be the best indicator to know what is best for him. 🙂 Take care and sorry again for being rude with my first comment. No excuses, but I have read so much ignorance online about autism sometimes when seeing anything that I take personally, I am very quick to jump on the defense. I now see that you really didn’t mean any harm.
Made a new blog post about you. I’m sorry about the first one. I was all emotions and hurt. Your post made me tear up. Thank you. I think we can call it a truce. 🙂 I’ll be looking for more of your posts to help me through my journey.
Apology accepted and I am sorry too. I understand and it’s really okay. Yes let’s call it a truce and move forward. 🙂 I will read the post now, and btw I followed you in return. 🙂 I look forward to learning and reading more about your journey as well. If I have anymore things that I feel deeply about, I will make sure to post with politelness and openess in the future. No more jumping to assumptions. And if I feel hurt, I can just say it and not get all defensive. Sorry for attacking you and your relationship with your son. He is lucky to have a mom like you! 🙂
Awe, thank you! Yes! Let me know if I say something hurtful. I don’t want others to feel that way when they read my blog. I can learn and avoid those words or connotations in the future. And it’s people like you who should also have children. You aren’t a afraid to speak up for yourself and you are humble enough to admit your wrongs. Kids need to learn that. You said you are 30. I’m 25, so I’m sure there is a lot I can learn from you. Are you planning any kids soon? It took me forever for me to have Dean. I was told I was infertile and a year and some months later Dean was conceived.
I will and same goes for you, if I offend you again in comments or on my blog, don’t be afraid to speak up and stand up for yourself. I see now I could have said what I felt in a much more polite form with no one feelings getting hurt and will remember that for the future if need be. We can always learn and especially from our wrongs. Thank you for the compliment, I hope to be a mother one day to one or two children, it is in the plans but the hubby and I want to make sure everything is sorted and we can afford kids and all that so we can give them the best opportunity at life. I have been very safe to not have kids, but I do worry I could be infertile and may take time to have kids, I hope not. But who knows? Making a baby is harder than it looks it seems, yet one of the most natural things we do as a species. Lol. I am glad you had Dean even though you were told you were infertile. What a wonderful surprise. I know someone who was told she couldn’t have kids (she and her husband are good friends of my parents) and they couldn’t for a long time so they adopted a boy when he was very young, then she got pregnant with a daughter. It was quite the lovely shock I imagine, and both are great kids, although they are adults now. The daughter is the same age as me I believe and our birthdays are also close together which was always nice at family events to have a female close in age to me there. 🙂 Kid’s need to learn to stand up for themselves, I completely agree. I can learn from you too and I am sure I will continue to.