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Chapter Six: Forgotten History (Part 2)

His eyes glanced at his crystal and were surprised to find it a murky purple color. It had never carried that color before and as his feelings turned more purple, the color in the crystal turned clearer and brighter, until the whole thing sparkled like an amethyst, the stone of hope. His eyes met hers with a wry grin.

“I think my feelings have changed. Wait, rewind that. I think I possess feelings now…with you.”

Jess could not help but laugh a little at this. Belle of the ball? More like the one who felt like the dress was suffocating and she could not wait to get out of that horrid party.

“Nah, I was the one who complained about it most of the time.”

She said jokingly. As she saw him glance over at his crystal, her eyes also trailed over to it, before returning to meet his gaze. The stone was different than it used to be, was it not? It appeared to be…clearer…pure. A smile smoothly slid onto her lips and she added.

“Oh, really?”

She was still sort of in awe of the change of the crystal.


She said good, because she felt the same way, that she was having more feelings for him the more time she spent with him.

“You’re misunderstanding me.”

Felix said a bit agitated by the difference in the stone.

“It’s purple. It’s never purple. Purple symbolizes hope. I am experiencing hope.”

He looked up at her, eyes brimming with…golden liquid. Could it be tears?

“Hope that we will be able to be together. I have never hoped before, because I thought it was futile. Fate controls everything, but falling in love with you, has changed some of my core beliefs. Now, I question Fate. I question Fate, because of you.”

He smiled and ducked his head a little to look at the stone. The positivity that radiated from him was a positive sign that he was happy with the change. Jess was not sure what to say. So, perhaps, their fate could change after all? Felix had hope now, and Jess believed that things could work out a little more than she did before. Maybe, it was just being in his presence and getting to know him, and realizing she did not want to lose him. Ever. Her eyes fell to the stone once more, as she thought of something to say, but did not say it. She wanted to believe that they would always be together, that things would work out, but she still was not completely sure. Although she desperately wanted this, she wondered if fate could really change.

“I wish I could convince you about us, but I cannot. I may not know the future, Jessica or what it has in store for us. All I know is that I have never loved another person more than how I love you now. Our love will get us through this of that I am sure.”

Felix smiled stiffly at her, trying to convey a confidence which he did not feel. He could not force the spirit or attitude to go with the words in which he had spoken. He had hope, but hope could not guarantee them a life together. It only gave them temporary satisfaction and the push to try to change their reality. He gazed at the ocean once more, noticing how that storm had died off suddenly out of nowhere. It was probably caused by some paranormal creature, he thought. Felix returned his attention back to Jess, wondering not for the first time, if she regretted getting involved with complicated.

Jess nodded, knowing this. Nobody really knew what their future would be, who it would be with, or how it could be guaranteed an option for them to change it. And even if people could change it, what if their fate was of one they regretted? What if their fragile hopes were twisted and configured into some opposite fragment which could never be opposed again? Shaking these worries off, Jess sighed softly.

“It will.”

She said, also hoping their love would get them through this. She had never loved anybody before, as well, and as long as she was with him, she was more secure about what their future might hold.

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Chapter Six: Forgotten History

Felix landed lightly on the ground with Jessica. He smiled darkly into her eyes as his lips touched hers with passion. He broke the kiss and wandered over near a rock to sit down. He sat down facing the ocean. The salty air hit his face, messing up his dark locks as a piece falls into his eyes, giving him a dark, youthful, rebel persona. He glanced at Jess and sighed deeply.

“I used to love being near the ocean, when I was younger. It was so deep and mysterious. It wasn’t traveled much and it was filled with treasures beyond your wildest dreams.”

Looking at him, Jess smiled against his lips and kissed him back a moment, enjoying the compelling feeling she seemed to always have with him, before they separated once more. She followed him to the rock, watching the ocean splash against the shore and then slide back down a while and then turning her head to look at him, in time to see his hair fall into his eyes. She was tempted to reach out and brush it out of his face, but restrained as she listened to him speak. She nodded slightly, understanding this slightly. Except, for her, what she always went out to watch was the sky, because it seemed to cast off her emotions and yet be so peaceful all at once, something she never was.

“Ever find any of those treasures?”

She asked curiously. Felix gazed out to the sea as the blue of it reflected into his irises. He thought back on those times and shrugged his shoulders.

“I was always very vain. Unless you count seducing mermaids and sirens and redirecting pirates away from the loot of gold underfoot, then no, I never found any treasure, because there was nothing there of any real value. I’m timeless. Trinkets are useless, unless you either value them or have someone to give them to.”

Silent for a long while, Jess looked back over at the waves that moved simultaneously through the ocean. She nodded slowly, unsure how she felt about the whole seducing mermaids and sirens. Well, that was a twist, wasn’t it? Generally it was the mermaids and sirens who seduced the sailors or pirates, but apparently this was a whole new story she had no recognition of until now.

“Hmm. Interesting.”

She murmured, absentmindedly playing with the sand between her fingers. Felix smirked lightly at her.

“Although, you are so much finer than a fish, Sweetness.”

He lightly teased her, before getting serious.

“What era are you from, Jess? I never really asked you that and I just realized that I have never really asked you about your past or where you come from.”

He tilted his head to look at her better and wondered, if they have ever crossed paths back when she was only a mere mortal to be toyed and played with. His smirk turned into a thoughtful muteness of expression.

“Oh, well thanks.”

Jess replied with a roll of her eyes, before she glanced at him and hesitated.

“The age question? Love that one.”

Really, she did not. She got asked that way too much, but that was probably to be expected. Most people that asked her that, though, she had to lie and say the age she was before being changed into a vampire.

“1600’s. The dresses then were so fun.”

She mumbled sarcastically. Wearing dresses in the first place, period was something to dread, but wearing dresses from that era? Ten times worse. Noel laughed softly, before tucking a wayward strand of her hair away from her face.

“I would have loved to see that. I bet you were the belle of the ball.”

He winked at her, loving the lightness of the moment.

40 Days of Blogging, My Life, Writing

Chapter Five: The Makeup (Part 5)

Jess raised her eyebrows at this, surprised as he dips her backwards and kissed her, gently at first as though a brief taste, but soon, changing into something more passionate and loving as their lips moved in sync together. This time feels short as they both pull away from the kiss, but still remain close together. Absentmindedly, Jess wondered what it was about Felix that was so… intoxicating? No, it was not that. It was something stronger than that, what she felt for him was not lust that was clear. As she listened to his words, snapping out of her vivid daydream, she still did not think that she was beautiful at all. She wanted to reply to this, but decided against it. Instead, she smirked and asked.


That was definitely a foreign word to describe Jess. Felix pulled her upright, still holding her close.

“Oh, you know what I mean. You taste like sugar and spice and everything nice. Although you do have a fiery kick with the attitude, Missy.”

He teased her easily, as if he had always been passionate and caring like it was not foreign to feel feelings whatsoever. His lopsided smile appeared as he glanced down at her.

“I might have to tickle the spice out of you.”

Without warning, they were suddenly soaring through the air as his black feathers tickled her cheek lightly. If she was observing anything about his wings, she would have noticed that they were not as pitch black anymore. Although they were still black, they seem lighter than the shadows flying with them, clinging to Felix’s body like a second skin, although invisible to most paranormals and humans alike. Only species like vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and Sith could see them as bright as day.

“Where do you want to go today, Sweetness?”

Jess raised her eyebrows once more at this. Well that was true, actually, but she was still getting used to all of this. For example, him being all nice to her. She remembered the first time she met him; they were both extremely rude to each other. Not sweet at all. And now, he was as sweet as candy, besides the tickling part. Her eyes widened as he suddenly grabbed her and took her into the air with him, but they soon fell due to his wings. Was it just her, or did they look somewhat different? They seemed…lighter? Or perhaps she was just seeing that. At his question, she turned her attention back to him and shrugged slightly.

“Hmm… I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”

She returned with a question of her own. But if they were keeping their relationship a secret, the place probably should not have too many people around. Felix’s smile took a wicked turn as he carried her higher into the sky.

“How about the….cove? There should not be many people around, plus there looks to be a storm brewing on the beach. There will not be much people venturing out in the storm. A perfect time for us to be alone to…talk.”

Felix arches an eyebrow at her suggestively as he swerved around in the sky. He would not land without her assent, so they hovered in the sky until she decided. The ends of her mouth twitched slightly as Jess restrained from smiling at that. The cove, huh? Oh, yeah. The best place for talking, she thought to herself, her gaze not leaving his even though the atmosphere around them really was brilliant.

“Well we do have much to talk about…”

She trailed off, seeing the suggestiveness in his expression and finally smiling faintly.

Lifestyle, My Life, Writing

Chapter Five: The Makeup (Part 5)

“We don’t need to decide anything right now. We can enjoy our secrecy together for a while until we both reach a decision.”

Felix stated smoothing her hair back away from her face, trying to soothe and calm her of their relationship worries. There would always be other ways. They could appeal to both races. They could run away to a different dimension, but what kind of afterlife would that be? To leave everything one has ever known would be hard and even in a different dimension different challenges would arise. They could not run from their problems every time. No. What they needed to do was to fight for their love. But fighting can wait. Felix just wanted to be with Jess for a while and try feeling normal with her. The ending of their fairytale could wait a bit for all he cared.

Jess nodded, relieved they would not have to decide right then. This was something she would have to think over for quite a little while, something both of them had to seriously consider. But, at that moment, all she wanted to do was wash away her worries of their relationship and focus on her love in front of her. Looking at Felix, she smiled, although faint, and attempted to ignore these thoughts. The whispers still raged on in her head, whispers of denial and pain, as they always did. But this time, when she looked into his eyes, the whispers faded until they were mere breaths of the lost chorus of voices.


She eventually said and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She never hugged people much, but this one was…nice…comforting…relaxing. Felix held her close and would have counted her heartbeats in bliss, if she had any to count that is. For now, he just held her and counted his lucky stars that he had found his one and only love. The type of love that lasts a lifetime or in their instance, forever until one of them was either staked or essence-free. Felix murmured something unintelligible into her hair and finally broke the embrace.

“Now that we have forever, what would you like to do now, Sweetness?”

Felix smiled lopsidedly at the nickname he had come up for her that was even better than the generic beautiful or diamond. Jess smiled faintly, still unable to believe that she actually found someone who loved her as much as she loved him, and who cared about her. Actually cared, not someone who acted like they did just to get something out of you or to get you to stop feeling left out or down. Words could not even begin to explain how Jessica felt for him. Even though, they had only known each other for such a short time, that time spent felt like an eternity, which was exactly how long she wanted them to be together. As he pulled back from the hug, she looked at him and said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well… I kind of wanted to do this.”

She had been joking, but that did not stop her from bringing her lips to his in a kiss. It was a short and lingering kiss; the kind she wished could be longer with loving…sweetness. Ironic, she thought. The kind that made her not want to ever pull away, but she did after a moment.

“Okay, now you can choose.”

She grinned slightly.

“Well, you know if you do that I’ll have to reciprocate.”

He said as he twirled her in his arms, dipped her backwards, and brushed his lips against hers. At first, the kiss was light and salty as their lips stay closed. Then, sweeter when he breached her lips, glad that he did not have to break away for air and neither did she. When he finally broke away, his mind was heady with the taste of Jess in his mouth that he could hardly form words in his mind, never mind speak them. So, he admired her beauty and said.

“You really are beautiful you know. The day I met you when I said you were pale and stunning. I meant it.”

He said this thoughtfully, almost as an afterthought he added.

“Although I never knew that you would be this sweet.”


Chapter Five: The Makeup (Part 4)

“I care about you too Jess. More than that. I love you. You’re the only girl who makes me feel…anything…emotion at its best and at its worst. You’re the reason I haven’t turn darker than I already am. Since you, I’ve grown something of a conscience. I love you since the moment I first saw you. You are the first and only girl in my life. I thought I would never find someone like you. I believed myself to be unlovable…a monster…with you Jess. I feel alive. I feel more alive than ever. My need has lessened when I’m with you. But…”

Felix cupped her face in his hands as he gazed with love into her eyes.

“I cannot be with you, Jess. It’s forbidden.”

A small smile spread across Jess’s lips as she was suddenly in his arms, exactly where it felt completely right to be. She did not know if she would ever get used to this feeling: being loved and loving someone else. It was strange and she also felt so many emotions she never thought she could feel before him. He was the only person who ever made her feel both angry and joyful all at once. At this moment, in his arms, hearing his words, she realized she loved him, too. She cared about him more than anything she ever had before. It was amazing to her; because everyone who met her thought she was icy and emotionless. But it seemed as though all of these things washed away with Noel. In a way, they were similar. But they were so different all at once. Her smile soon faded from her face at his last words, staring at him in disbelief.

“Why…is it forbidden?”

She asked quietly, already knowing the answer. Felix glanced at her lips before answering.

“Even though, we are technically both dead and immortal. Think of the repercussions. Are there any laws you would be breaking as a lady of the night? I know there are rules I would be breaking as the Prince of Summer. Both accounts would offer our death…permanent death…worse than death if we are together. There is no way for me to become a vampire, but there is a way to change you.”

Felix kissed her lightly before continuing.

“And I won’t risk losing you when I have just found you and have you in my arms. It is dangerous and the vamps would surely shun you.”

A look of recognition crossed her face briefly as he spoke. She would be shunned by the vampires, if they found out about their relationship; the vampires that had always raised her and broke her, taught her the skills she never would have learned without them. If they shunned her, her whole world would collapse and she would be a walking enemy to them. Being enemies of the dead was one of the worst kinds, especially considering all the things they could do to her as punishment. Stab a stake through her heart, ending her second existence, rip her head off, or just send her as a slave for the king of the dead eternally.

“I know. It is dangerous.”

But what if it was worth it? Could they not keep this a secret? These questions rippled through her mind in a never ending stream.

“They would shun me, but…”

She trailed off, biting her lip and averting her eyes. She did not want to admit what might happen if they did not part ways. More than this, it scared her a little how she did not mind what might happen as long as she was with Felix. He took her hand into his own.

“I know it’s hard, Sweetness. There is another option though. The vampires will not shun you if you are still part vampire right?”

Felix did the math in his head, trying to figure out if changing Jess into a changeling is even possible anymore. What if something bad happened? What if he killed her? The one thing he knew for sure was that he loves Jess and would do anything to be with her.

“What if you bit me?”

He asked quietly. Jess, thinking about what he said a moment, raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly, a little unsure of what he was getting at. But then she got it. If she was part changeling and, like he suggested, he was part vampire, and if they both lived—relatively speaking—they could be together. But there were a lot of risks in this and there was always the risk that all of their trials could be for nothing. That being said, they would never know unless they tried.

“That’s a…big risk.”

She said, still shocked that he suggested this. She both did not want to put him through that, and she selfishly wanted to as well. To be with him and to never have to leave him.

Lifestyle, My Life, Octoberfest, Writing

Chapter Five: The Makeup (Part 3)

“I believe your exact words were “Because, although it’s obvious you haven’t noticed, I can handle myself” , when I asked you why I should not worry about you because I love you. Do you know how infuriating that is?! That you do not need my worrying, therefore not my love, because that means nothing to you, because you can take care of yourself. Do you know how hurtful that to hear?! To have my love smacked right back into my face. Do you know how that felt? No you don’t! Because you don’t care! You don’t need me or anybody else, Jess. So why are you even here? Why are you even speaking to me? You know how I feel. No one knows how I feel. I opened up to you and I shouldn’t have. Everyone is out for themselves. How could I aspect you to be any different? What you wanted was temporary company. Brooklynn wanted my soul. Lolita wanted my kingdom and power. What is it that you want to take away from me Jess? Brooklynn got my soul. Lolita stole many of my subjects and left me with Shadows. I gave you my heart Jess. What more do you want?”

His eyes looked at her pleadingly. He had lost his cool and broke down to her. A silver tear fell from his eye, before his composure came back to him and he looked stonily at her. He was mad at himself for letting her see him at his weakest. No wonder why she did not want his protection. There was nothing that he could protect her from. He was weak and pathetic. His face crumpled slightly before resuming the cold radiance of an unemotional face.

Jess could not help flinching slightly as his voice rose, but she did not tear her eyes away from him as he continued on with his rant. So people had hurt him before, but others had hurt her as well. Not in the similar sense, but a quite different one she would never share with anyone. She did not even speak until the whole area was quiet for a moment, not wanting to say anything. He was wrong when he stated she did not need anyone, painfully wrong when he stated she did not care about him, his worries or his love. Everything he said about her was entirely true and absolutely false all at once. Why was she here speaking with him? She wanted answers, wanted to know the truth, but more than anything, she wanted to see him. She had been so close to apologizing, too. This probably had a fat chance of happening now. Before, when she was with him, he made her feel alive for maybe the first time in longer than she could remember, but now… now she did not even know what to feel besides coldness and regret. How she always felt.

“I don’t want your soul or your subjects, and what you apparently think how I am and feel about you is stupid.”

She hesitated, finally averting her eyes.

“What I want… it’s obviously not something I can get again.”

His love. Her eyes trailed back to his face, in time to see it change from anguished to emotionless.

“And I’m sorry for that, your past, those idiots that used you. Okay?”

Again, she paused.

“I understand you probably want to take your heart back.”

She added this part quietly.

“Once lost, it can never be recovered. I am soulless, almost subjectless, one power less, and now, heartless. Nothing and no one can change that. Once I give something of myself, I cannot take it back. I am Sith.”

Felix looked up into her eyes with a heated expression.

“I can’t just take it back. I don’t have that kind of power. If you don’t want it…me….then try to give it back, but I won’t take it.”

Felix looked away from her, allowing his face to become impassive once more.

“What do you want, Jess? If what I think about you is wrong then tell me who you are, before it is too late for both of us.”

Jess found herself even more frustrated with this fact, but at the same time relieved, because she really did not want to give his heart back. Even if she could, she did not want to. But this was harder than she wanted to admit. Love was never easy. Realizing she mentally referred to this as love made her pause; as she always believed it was impossible for her to love anyone.

“I want you.”

She finally responded to his question.

“I’m speaking with you because for some reason there’s this ache in my chest knowing I hurt you, and I wanted to apologize but I know that hasn’t done anything because that dull feeling is…still there. I don’t want to be that person who takes your heart and throws it in the dirt. I don’t want to hurt you or pretend that I don’t care for you, because I do care about you…”

She trailed off, because she did not think any of this was helping. In one swift movement, Jess was in his arms as he cradled her. He kissed her neck, delighting in the fact that she was his…forever.

Lifestyle, My Life, Octoberfest, Writing

Chapter Five: The Makeup (Part 2)

Her eyes fell on the blood that was trickling down his hand from the thorns in the rose. She was not going to say that she actually got tired of being alone after a while, but instead she crossed her arms and frowned slightly. Why could he not be alone? It was odd. In a sense, though, she was never really alone either.

“Yeah… It’s awesome.”

She replied blankly. Felix nodded slightly before dropping the blood slickened rose from his fingers. It hit the pavement, splattering it with droplets of sunlit blood. He licked his fingers healing the self-inflicted wound.

“Maybe we could be alone together some time to get away from mortal company.”

Felix said offhandedly. His heart still bleed from the last wound she had inflicted, but since then, he had it steal plated against her, returning it to its unfeeling state.

“But I really must cause that innocent’s ruin. She still believes that the world is all rainbows and butterflies. It’s annoying and irritating.”

Jess looked down and watched the rose fall from his fingers, then glanced back up at him at the suggestion.


She said, hesitantly. She knew their last meeting had been anything but pleasant, and she was more cautious around him now. Actually she had always been cautious, but now, she was even more so.

“Oh. What fun her life must be.”

She muttered sarcastically. Felix stood up and shuffled his feet as he stuffs his hands in his pockets in order to hold himself off from hugging her.

“Sickening, actually.”

Felix’s accent became thick and husky as he whispered in her ear.

“She’s no you.”

Before she could react, he was several feet ahead of her and walked away. Jess watched him as he treaded closer to her, raising her eyebrows at his words. She had to stop herself from swaying closer, feeling the short distance between them and missing it as he walked away again.

“Right, because I’m so sure I am different than any of your other play toys.”

She muttered sarcastically. Felix kept on walking and glared at the shrubbery. His reputation would always precede him. A long line of jilted lovers had ensured that. Irritated, Jess’s eyes narrowed automatically at his back, and she turned and crossed her arms, beginning to walk away. Sighing, Jess turned back around and watched his retreating figure. Knowing she would probably regret continuing a conversation with Felix later, she decided to go ahead and say.

“I want to know something.”

She did not know if he would turn around or walk away. Felix paused, neither turning around nor walking away. His back stiffened ready for a verbal as well as physical attack that could be fast approaching. He cleared his throat before venturing into speech.

“Yes, Sweetness.”

He smiled a little before letting it drop, remembering how fast she dropped him. Jess rolled her eyes at the sweetness remark.

“Why are you so…”

She trailed off, biting her lip. Aggravating? Annoying? Why was he so irritating that he could both annoy her like no one else and want her to be with him? She did not want to say this, but instead, decided to ask him something else that had been bugging her a lot, ever since the library.

“Why are you so mad?”

In an instant, he was in front of her. His eyes were alive with fire.

“What anger? The anger I had before you or after the talk in the library?”

He tried to calm down, but the heat waves coming off of him was a good indicator that he was not in control of his anger. He stared into her eyes. His nostrils flared with disgust…or was it regret? It slipped out of his expression just as easily as it had appeared. Almost involuntarily, she took a step back out of instinct. She shook her head slightly, out of confusion, because she really did not know why he was angry with her. It did not make any sense.

“The anger right now.”

She muttered, eyes narrowing.

“You have no reason to be angry. All I said was I can protect myself, and somehow this offends you?”

As irritated as he felt but for different reasons, she shot a glare at him, tired of the charade. Felix clenched his fists as she glared at him.

Lifestyle, My Life, Octoberfest, Writing

Chapter Five: The Makeup

Having grown bored of the dreary atmosphere that seemed to follow her constant pacing, Jessica decided to wander around an area unfamiliar to her, a hat now on her head, even though it was barely even chilly outdoors. As she was walking along, her gaze found an achingly, somewhat well-known figure in the short distance and it only took her a mere moment to realize that it was Felix, and with him was some strange girl. Her eyes immediately narrowed at the sight, a pang of jealousy thrown at her. But she forced these feelings aside and glanced away. Felix felt her presence long before he spotted her in the corner of his sight. The hole where his heart should be rang dull with pain. He twirled another rose in his hand unknowingly changing its color from bright yellow to black, matching the mood of his thoughts. Even though she glanced away briefly, her eyes still caught the rose changing color before she did this.

A small sigh escaped her lips, but she did not look at him again as she continued walking, forcing herself not to shoot a death glare at the girl he was with. That was more challenging than she anticipated. The rose dropped from his nimble fingers as she passes. It turned to ashes before it even hit the ground. In that same moment, in one fluid move, he stood up as if to follow her, but his feet moved no farther as he traced her being with his eyes, trying to remain neutral…unchanging…as he watched her. His fingers flexed so that he clenched them into fists, so that they would not reach towards her. Something made Jess stop treading and turn around to face him, maybe a little farther than she would have hoped. Her eyes found the girl again at first before studying Felix’s expression. His facade showed no signs he wanted her to leave nor did he want to particularly speak with her. Her lips twisted into a smirk, and she did not know what made her say it, but she asked.

“A friend of yours?”

Really, it did not sound like a question at all. Jess watched the girl leave, raising an eyebrow. It appeared the girl was either intimidated by Jessica, a little annoyed, or awkward. She was not sure which, but did it really matter? She came to a realization. Oh, great. Now I’m alone with Felix. Fun, she thought sarcastically. Felix shrugged as Cleo got up.

“It is good to know that you will jump ship at the first sign of trouble.”

Felix glanced at Jess.

“Not a friend of mine. A friend of mine would never abandon me like that, even if I had the plague and I’ve had the plague before so I know what I am talking about. Plus, she could never understand me. She’s too simple. Too naive. Too unassuming. Too innocent, but she would be a pleasure to corrupt.”

Felix’s lips twisted into a sinister grin. Jess stared at him, her expression showing nothing of the emotions she was feeling as she crossed her arms.


She said slowly, unsure what else to say to his little speech. She let out a small sigh, but paused slightly at him saying corrupting Cleo would be fun. Her eyes immediately narrowed into a glare.

“Right. Of course.”

That was all she said, through gritted teeth. Felix enjoyed the emotions coming from Jess as he hurt her the way she hurt him.

“So, how do you like being alone?”

He asked innocently.

“Are you enjoying your strength and your ability to need nor want anyone who wishes to help?”

Felix manifested another rose. Jess rolled her eyes at him, still frowning.

“Being alone is awesome. I enjoy it immensely.”

She replied, raising her eyebrow as though challenging him to say different.

“I see you have trouble being alone.”

“I am never left alone.”

He said softly as he twirled the rose the color of Gawd between his nimble fingers. The thorns tore into his flesh, but he paid them no mind as trickles of golden blood flow over his hands and black stripes soon follow. His blood was black-gold. His two sides manifested. The darkness and the light. He looked up at Jess calmly.

“I’m glad you are enjoying your solitude. It sounds pleasing to be without mortal company for however long it pleases you.”

Lifestyle, My Life, Octoberfest, Writing

Chapter Four: The Fallout (Part 3)

“I just…”

He searched internally for the right words.

“don’t want you to get hurt unnecessarily, is all. I feel strongly for you, Jessica.”

It was the first time that he said her real full name and he leans against the bookcase with ease. His forehead is smooth and clear of any wrinkles, as if he was not worried that she would go against him and speak to Gunner. Jess stared at him as he said this, then sighed softly and crossed her arms. Nobody got hurt unnecessarily in her opinion. She pushed away the side of her that wanted to feel happy that he worried about her, and instead she responded.

“You shouldn’t worry about me that much.”

I’m not worth it, she silently added. Even though, it seemed to her that he was not really worried at all. Heck, maybe he just said that to all the girls he apparently hung out with. Noel smirked lightly at her comment.

“And why shouldn’t I? Give me one good reason why I should not worry about you.”

His eyes studied her face, silently challenging her to come up with something to set himself free of her, but his personal feelings were that she would not find something solid to get him to stop worrying about her. He felt too young for her and felt a few worry lines would make him feel older. Worrying had not killed anyone yet, but since he does not breathe, that was not a problem for him either. Jess did not respond for a minute, a little surprised that he did not know why he did not really have a reason to worry about her.

“Because, although it’s obvious you haven’t noticed, I can handle myself.”

She replied simply, staring at him. She did not like how people—those who did not know what she was, or even did—always looked at her like she was weak. She thought this was how he was looking at her. Felix blinked. Hurt flashed quickly across his features before resuming its default mode: a slight smirk. He felt hurt…wounded…he had never cared for someone before and having his love get smacked right back in his face felt like hell. Like it was not worth s#$t. His eyes lost their warmth as coldness like shadows slid across his features, making that carefree nature just shadow-like it was just a disguise that he was now shedding. He clapped softly at first, then louder.

“Bravo my dear because frankly I don’t give a damn.”

With that, he raised his hand as the shadows swirl around him enveloping him completely, before he disappeared into nothingness. Then faintly, very faintly his last words reach her.

“I cannot believe I actually love her.”

Jess stared at him, gaping a little as he left. She did not really mean to make it sound the way it came out, but that was always the way she lost people, why they always abandoned her. It was her fault she could never connect with anybody. Her fault, that she always pushed them away. It always ended this way, she thought. She stared at the ground forlornly, the sadness that she never showed burning a hole in her, as well as the guilt that she hurt him. Shoving the book back in the bookshelf, she shook her head, mostly at herself. Okay, so he was angry. A part of her wanted to believe that he would probably get over it. But, still… She felt certain that he might have loved her for some reason, but now she knew for certain that he did not love her anymore.

Lifestyle, My Life, Octoberfest, Writing

Chapter Four: The Fallout (Part 2)

“He’s heeeere.”

She whispered, in the voice from a horror movie she once watched long ago. Felix slipped between the bookcases, taking Jess with him laughing slightly under his breath as if this was all a game. He placed a finger over Jess’s lips as if to shush her.

“I know. No need to say it like that. He’s not a murderer.”

He looked at her reprovingly, then smirked ruining the effect of disapproval. He glanced around the shelf, as if searching for Gunner but seeing no one.

“Hiding from me are we.”

A deep voice issued quietly from behind Felix as he whirls around taking in the sight of Gunner and his rumpled appearance.

“Someone slept in their clothes.”

Noel smirked at Gunner, who flexed his jaw which issued a crackling sound into the silent library. Jess smirked slightly and merely shrugged when he said this. Alright, so if he was not a murderer, how the heck was he dangerous? And why was he even basically stalking him just to figure out some answer? She held in a sigh, staring at Gunner, who looked a bit intimidating, but not enough for her to feel frightened. She dealt with people like this before, so what was the difference? Not that she was really planning on fighting him or anything, but still. Felix laughed out loud, breaking the tension.

“Real intimidating.”

Gunner shrugged in a bored-like fashion.

“Who’s the woman? Another one of your lady companions?”

His voice brimmed with sarcasm and boredom. Felix’s eyes narrowed on Gunner.

“These are not the drones you are looking for.”

Gunner rolled his eyes.

“Wanted to let you know that I found it. No thanks to you. So…bye.”

Gunner turned around and walked away. Felix’s fists clenched at his sides as he watched Gunner’s back retreat. Jess raised her eyebrows when Gunner asked if she was another one of Felix’s lady companions. What, so apparently he had a lot? Was she just some game or something? She tried not to show what she was thinking about and feeling, and said once Gunner was gone.

“Well. Isn’t he just the life of the party?”

She walked back over to the other bookcase and sighed, pretending to be interested in the rows of books. Felix still watched Gunner, until Gunner exited the library. He turned to look at Jess and discovered that her emotions seemed to be spiking with jealousy. It tastes so delicious…and wrong, he thought.

“Just stay away from him, okay? He’s fond of games.”

Felix picked out a book and headed to a nearby table to leaf through some of the pages.

“Oh, really? Because I was definitely planning to be his best friend.”

She mumbled sarcastically, rolling her eyes and sighing softly as she went over to the section labeled mystery. She looked over the books, before pulling one out and opening it, looking through it. Felix narrowed his eyes at her.

“This is a serious matter. You shouldn’t be so flippant about it.”

He slammed the book shut with a decided snap and checked it out at the self-serve computer scanners before returning back to Jess’s side.

“I’m serious, Jess. Gunner’s not a nice guy, even for human standards.”

“I get it, okay?”

Jess muttered, not looking up from her book. She was not exactly going to go chat with Gunner any time soon, but he seemed a bit overprotective. She thought did he not know she could handle herself? She frowned slightly. Felix murmured something unintelligent, watching her face closely trying to decipher the feelings that she flickered through so rapidly. It was enough to make anyone’s head spin, but somehow she seemed composed and normal. It had to be a human thing, to be so composed while feeling so much. Jess was still feeling his eyes on her, which for some reason, made her feel a bit uncomfortable. So much so that she had to read the same paragraph several times and still did not fully understand it. Sighing, she closed the book and finally looked at him.


She asked an edge of annoyance in her tone. She had no idea what he said, and was not sure she wanted to.


He said a little too quickly, as he raked a hand through his already messy waves.